Luckily Rob is now feeling much better and we have just spent two long but enjoyable days at our first Nepali wedding. We were invited along as guests of our homestay family and were made to feel very welcome. Nepali weddings are big celebrations! The money spent on them in comparison to what they have is crazy (though I guess it is back home too!) but it is a big part of their culture. We were aware before we went that we would have to 'dress up' as best we could but were rather limited in what we could do, particularly in the case of Andy's rather tatty old shoes which he has worn most days for teaching, in dusty classrooms and along rocky paths. We did have a look around Tansen the day before but not didn't find a single shop that sold shoes big enough! They are only size 10's but Nepali people apparently don't have big feet!!!
The wedding was between one of the Dhani's relatives (the groom) and a girl from Butwal, about an hour and a half South from Tansen. It is difficult to work out exactly how arranged the marriage was but we knew there had been discussions between the families, though we were assured that the couple were happy, despite having only briefly met each other (that's just the way it is out here).
The whole thing was rather bizarre and we took a bit of a back seat as the Bashayal (homestay) family were quite important and close guests (Deepa was some sort of bridesmaid) and Dhani was the grooms uncle. We won't go into too much detail as frankly a lot of the time we didn't really know what was going on!!
We started off initially going to Dhani's village where the grooms family lived. Everyone gathered there and there was a small gathering where the bride came out and they put both their heads under a blanket. The bride didn't seem to us to look too happy but apparently that is a lot down to the nerves and there were also a lot of tears from the groom - it was really a rather a rather solemn occasion but full of colour.
After an hour or so we all headed in cars (except some of the women, Janake included who stayed behind and didn't attend the brides home (we're not quite sure why!). At the brides home there was a big marquee where dinner was served, an enormous buffet. Following that we were dragged up to dance in front of quite a crowd of amused onlookers and then tried our best to keep a low profile!! There was quite a lot of hanging around and various ceremonies going on.
We left the wedding in the early evening and travelled separately to the Bashayal's who were going to continue the celebrations back in Dhani's village and stay overnight there. We travelled on a privately hired bus back to Tansen, which is not to say it wasn't as cramped as usual and we were stood up for the whole way back. It was a good fun journey back though with everyone in good spirits (though not drunk - being a Brahman caste wedding alcohol was not permitted). When we arrived back we met up with Sonja and Budhi, who had come to visit from Bardia. We had a really fun evening with them sat out on the balcony with a few beers.
The following day the four of us, along with half of Tansen it seemed, crammed into a jeep (it had only supposed to have been 7 of us in total but seemingly word had got around!) and headed back to the wedding party in Dhani's village, a little over an hours drive away. It was nice having Budhi and Sonja there, as again there was quite a lot of hanging around! They made food in a huge cauldron stirred by a stick and there was more games and dancing. We tried where we could to play with the children there - it is easier to communicate with children by playing with them than adults who you have to try and make a conversation with, with limited language! One game which was very popular was where they covered coins and other objects in a bowl of rice and there was a competition to see who could pull the rice out quickest. This largely seemed to be a competition between the bride and her new mother in law.
We felt rather uncomfortable when the bride was pretty much forced to go up and dance and seemed to be really quite upset. It really was quite bizarre, the whole thing, partly we felt it was because she was so shy in having all that attention but it may also be down to the fact that when she leaves the wedding after the ceremony she is effectively leaving her home for good and going to live where her new husband lives. That is not to say she will never visit again but she certainly wouldn't live elsewhere before the day of her wedding. It must be a hugely emotional time with all of that going on.
We headed back to the homestay with Sonja and Budhi, whilst the Bashayal's stayed for another night. We went out for some mo-mo's in the evening and again sat out and enjoyed a few beers with them. It is not too long until Sonja leaves to go back to Netherlands for another six months. It must be very hard for her to leave though she plans to be back in October or November. We're hoping that we will meet up with them again in Pokhara as they are heading there in a couple of days and we will be there after our visit to our school out in Gorkha.
The next morning we had a bit of a plumbing nightmare when we ran out of water. Rob and I managed to get some from the street down below us - the shop at the bottom of our hill has a tap. Water is always a major problem in Tansen and we hadn't really known what they do each morning for pumping it up. Thankfully though the Bashayal family were back shortly after to restore order!!!
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